It’s as hard for me as it is for you. I wish I knew a better way to say that.
I’m sorry I’m a bitch but it runs thick in my blood and I’ve just grown oh so used to fucking with people. I’m sorry that I lie but it just comes so easy, a foreign language that I know fluidly. I’m sorry that I use you and make you my pawn but if we’re being honest I was never that great at chess.
You can’t manipulate the pieces if they aren’t already on the right spots.
There is a never ending fear deep in my rib cage that comes and goes as frequently as the rain. It is nothing you’ve done, nothing I’ve done, it just is. It just is and the fact that it hasn’t gone after this long makes me curious if it ever will. I hope it does.
For my sake, for your sake.
When your interests change, it causes your friends to change and when your friends change your interests change and it’s a never ending circle that makes it so that eventually not even the books on your shelves or the posters on your wall are all that familiar.
The way you left me in the late afternoon left me tossing and turning without your touch. When the sun set and you were not near I sighed into an empty room and waited for your return. When I took the stairs step by step I hoped and prayed that you would find your way back to me soon. Now that I’m checking the clock minute after minute and counting down time until my bedroom door will open and in you will step, noiselessly and carefully, I realize one thing.
I will always love you.
